I've Been Alone
by PhantomsAngel
Summary: A songphic I wrote awhile back. Christine misses her angel...Please, for the love of Erik, R&R!


A/N: I've had this sitting on my computer collecting dust for some time now. I thought I might share it. PLEASE r&r, it helps me tremendously. Hope you like this! I used Evanescence's My Immortal…

Disclaimer: Nothing's mine, dammit.

I've Been Alone

(I'm so tired of being here  
suppressed by all my childish fears…)

A soft breeze kissed the flushed cheeks of one who had seen more than anyone would wish, and had endured more than most could. Christine Daae stood on the balcony of her room in the Chateau de Chagny, looking over the gardens that were dimly lit by the silver moonlight.

_  
(…and if you have to leave  
I wish that you would just leave…)_

She remembered all that had happened, all those years ago, when her Angel of Music was her sole companion, protector…the only one she lived for. Her eyes stung with tears making their way down her face, the tears her angel used to kiss away…

But he was gone…he had been gone for two years now, two years to this day. But he wasn't really gone…

_  
('Cause your presence still lingers here  
and it won't leave me alone…)_

She could still hear his voice whenever she stood here, out on the balcony, alone…

_(these wounds won't seem to heal  
this pain is just too real  
there's just too much that time cannot erase)_

He used to sing to her, her angel would captivate her defenseless soul with the glorious gift God had given him. They would become one in mind and spirit when she lifted her voice in counterpoint to his, forgetting the separate worlds in which they lived. For if Erik had not had his accursed face, his musical genius would surely be known the entire world. She had been there to give him a taste of something that otherwise would have never been shown him…

(_when you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears)_

…love.

_(I held your hand through all of these years) _

Madeleine, Erik's mother, had never even kissed him. But he had been kissed in his lifetime, but just once. Christine smiled slightly as she remembered the way his lips mingled with hers the night he had Raoul and his Persian friend locked in his torture chamber, refusing to free them, lest she agree to be his wife. She had sunk to her knees in front of her dark angel, her dark hair clinging to the tears making hot trails down her cheeks, begging Erik to let them go, telling him she would do anything…anything to keep Raoul from being harmed…

_  
(but you still have  
all of me…)_

…And so she had stood resolutely, a breath away from the one who held two innocent lives in his murderous hands. Her small hands on his waist, she had kissed him initially to tear his mind from Raoul. She soon found herself entranced by the light pressure of his hand on her back, his lips gliding across hers, his other hand wrapped around her neck…

_(your face it haunts  
my once pleasant dreams…)_

Shehad been only his for one magnificent moment…

_  
(your voice it chased away  
all the sanity in me)_

His mind told him that her kiss was more than he could ever ask for, more than he deserved, and that such a hellish monster was forbidden to indulge in such things as a simple kiss. But his heart knew differently, the very reason he allowed himself to be swept away, returning the passion with which she kissed him.

_(these wounds won't seem to heal  
this pain is just too real…)_

He then had dropped to his knees and took the hem of the light fabric of her dress. She had stroked his silky raven hair as his body was wracked with heart-wrenching sobs.  
_  
there's just too much that time cannot erase…)_

Then he did something that would forever puzzle her. Erik had taken her hand and led her to Raoul, the only one that could possibly have loved her as much as he did…

_(I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone)_

Raoul had taken her here, to his chateau, and hastily married her.  
_  
(but though you're still with me…)_

Those who looked at Christine Daae saw a beautiful woman, one who had all she desired. She had a viscount for a husband, servants who attended her every need, and friends in high society. But no one could truly know the unequivocal emptiness she felt in her soul whenever she was reminded of her Erik, the one to whom her soul belonged for eternity, her blessed angel of music.

_(…I've been alone all along)_


End file.
